Joy to the World

Joy to the World
Three Dog Night

Joy to the world/All the boys and girls/ Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea/ Joy to you and me

So, perhaps not the song I expected to be in my head this morning, but I can't think of anything else, because:

  Now, I need to go get ready for the day.  Somehow, I think that morning meeting with my supervisor is going to go much better now.

Mother's Day

Mother's Day
by Tom Chapin

Mother's Day! (I'll get the OJ)/ Mother's Day! (I'll fold the napkins)/ Our own Mommy's special day is here!

So, no "for sure" news to report yet...I did POAS this morning, and got a very faint line (which was slightly darker than yesterday's very faint line, and looks different to me than all the negative tests I have taken), so we are feeling hopeful in the purple house.  As LB reminds me, one of our good friends had to test for 4 days in a row before getting a line that was convincing.

I keep telling LB that all I want is to not get my period on Mother's Day.  Of course, that's in between all the times we're smiling at each other and talking about "the bean" ;-)  Fingers crossed!

Walkin' After Midnight

Walkin' After Midnight
Patsy Cline 

I go out walkin' after midnight/ Out in the moonlight/ Just like we used to do/ I'm always walkin' after midnight searchin' for you

Blargh.  It's been a crappy week, and it's only Tuesday.

Here's hoping it gets better tomorrow, when I take another HPT.  The last two have been negative (6 and 8 DPO), but I'm still hopeful.  I just need to believe that stress won't completely ruin our chances.  I've been doing so well at staying calm and not obsessing over this 2WW, and then work had to come along yesterday and spoil it all.

*sigh*  And LB isn't even letting me have a glass of wine.

I Take My Chances

I Take My Chances
by Mary Chapin Carpenter

Now some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate, and for them I cannot disagree/ But I never learned nothing from playing it safe, I say fate should not tempt me/ I take my chances/ I don't mind working without a net/ I take my chances/ I take my chances every chance I get

Huh.  Apparently, the mobile blogging post I tried over the weekend didn't pan out.  I'll have to see if it shows up in the next few days, or just disappeared into the ether.  Here's the basic gist:

This weekend, LB and I had a choir retreat, which took us a few hours from a rendezvous with our donor, but since I was seeing possibly-fertile cervical fluid, I made sure to bring along a few OPKs, just so we'd know if we missed the chance this month, or if it was approaching as the weekend ended.  Saturday afternoon, we finally saw a second line!  Not quite as dark as the control line, but that was good, since we weren't coming back to town until Sunday.

_____________________________

This afternoon, since the second line was much darker (either as dark or darker than the control, depending on where you look), we contacted our donor and set up AHI #3.  A few hours (and some plow poses later), and I am crossing my fingers for a rising temperature and another 2WW!

We tried a new approach this time - instead of LB injecting the little swimmers into me, and then trying to trap them in place with the Instead cup, I put them into the cup first, and then put it in "pre-loaded."  It worked for a couple of friends, so we are hopeful.  The only complaint from LB with this method is that she doesn't want to be accused of not being involved this time.  Since she made a delicious dinner and cuddled with me afterward, I think she's safe from that.

Depending on how temps and the OPKs look tomorrow, I may see if our donor is available for another try after work tomorrow, just to increase our chances.

Doin' Fine

Doin' Fine
by Ellis


It's good to understand where you are standing/ And it's good to know where you been/ And it's good to work through the tough times/ And let the lessons start to creep in/ I know we're able to let go of more baggage/ Than we give ourselves credit for/ And the sunrise sayin' hello in the morning time/ Makes me believe that more and more

The last two days here in Seattle have been glorious examples of our lives in a temperate rain forest, or at least near one.  After the rain last week and some drizzle on Saturday, yesterday and today have been beautiful, sunny, warm, and just a little muggy.  We have huge bunches of lilacs on our table, at work, and wafting a wonderful scent through the entire house.  Times like these, I can't imagine a more wonderful place to live, especially in our new house, with the garden that is [almost] of our dreams :)

In the sunshine, we have been working on getting to know our garden.  The previous owners of the house were excellent gardeners, and amassed an amazing collection of plants, but we have been wanting to make the garden our own since we moved in last fall.  Finally, on Sunday, we started!  With a little help and encouragement from a friend of LB's family, we dug up the plants from a section of the garden, added a little compost, and put in some new veggies.

Here you see our new tomatoes, onions, basil, and the bok choy we relocated from the front yard.  Ignore the old, rusty wheelbarrow in the background, please.

Gardening has proven to be a very satisfying, comforting way to distract myself from the fact that I STILL HAVEN'T OVULATED.  Nor have any of the OPKs I've been peeing on showed any sign of impending ovulation.  Grrr.


LB pointed out that, the last time my cycle was thrown off by stress, the next cycle was also really weird and long.  I'm hoping that's all that is happening here, and at the same time, thinking about asking for an opinion from my Dr. if nothing happens soon.


I'm letting something in and I'm letting something go/ And I'm so thankful to be alive/ Right now time is passing slowly/ But I'm thoroughly enjoying this drive

New Beginning

New Beginning
by Tracy Chapman

We can break the cycle - We can break the chain
We can start all over - In the new beginning
We can learn, we can teach
We can share the myths the dream the prayer
The notion that we can do better


Well, here we go!  According to the TCOYF website, today is a good day to start using the OPKs I bought, so it's back to POAS time.  I haven't used these before, so it was a bit of a surprise to see the dye creeping up the test strip this evening!  Apparently, that's just how these work, since after a bit, the control line appeared.  Threw me for a bit of a loop, though, as the whole thing turned pink.


The past few days, LB and I have taken our pug, Olive, for long walks in the evening - she loves to walk, we need the exercise - it's a good deal for everyone.  Last night, we walked up by a nearby park that the city is fixing up, and noted that the path they are putting in is going to be very stroller-friendly!  (as LB pointed out, it's also going to be wheelchair-accessible, which may be more important to the designers, but I appreciate the wide, smooth path for other reasons). 


Change our lives and paths
Create a new world and
Start all over

Song of the Soul

Song of the Soul
by Cris Williamson


Love of my life, I am crying/ I am not dying, I am dancing/ Dancing along in the madness/ There is no sadness, only the song of the soul/ And we'll sing this song/ Why don't you sing along?/ And we can sing for a long, long time/ 

The day went like this:
6:15 take temp, still down (damn.) POAS: BFN (damn.)
8:30 plant plastic eggs around the neighborhood for the little kids to find
10:00 go egg hunting with the under-4 crowd, have a great time at the reactions of the kids to EVERY egg they find.  "I found one!  I found another one!  And another one!  I found another one!" repeat for 20 minutes, all along the block
12:30 make sandwiches for baby shower, before leaving stop at the restroom, CD1 again (damn.)
2:00 baby shower is attended by both month-old twins, as well as their 9-month-old cousin.  (cute, but damn.)
4:00 leave baby shower, break into tears from stress of PMS, BFN, and being surrounded by adorable children who are NOT MINE all day long.  LB proposes shopping therapy.
5:00 shopping therapy works, we return home with infant t-shirts and burpcloths to decorate.

Six hours later, LB has created the worlds most adorable onesies, and I'm feeling better and have finished a swatch for my next knitting project.  This one will not be for a baby or an expectant mom, rather, it is a stash-culling project using yarn purchased years ago.   See, if we're going to be spending more money on OPKs, HPTs, and the like, I can't be spending our extra money on crafting supplies (onesies clearly don't count).  Cycle 2, here we come!

Morning Train (Nine to Five)

Morning Train (Nine to Five)
by Sheena Easton

My baby takes the morning train/ He works from nine to five and then/ He takes another home again/ To find me waiting for him/

Second morning in a row that the song stuck in my head all day has started with the words "my baby"... I guess even my subconscious is wishing for a BFP!  Which makes it all the more ironic that I have ZERO willpower and P'dOAS this morning...and got a BFN.  At 8DPO, which is a surprise to no one, I'm sure.  It would be nice, though, if I at least got a break from baby-fever during my non-waking hours.

The song for today is also a creative choice from my brain since I don't work this week (being a teacher has it's perks, even if paid vacation and a house in the tropics isn't one of them).  Instead, LB and I made the rounds of Seattle's consignment stores, scoping out where to find cheap maternity and baby clothes when the time comes.  We found a few places that met our standards (organized, inexpensive, sketch-free), and are marking them down for future reference.  It was gloriously sunny today, and with all the riding in the car, I was back in laa-laa-land while LB tried to keep me awake.  When we got home, I took a nap before dinner, which is very unusual for me, but I suspect the über-walk we did with Olive the pug this morning is more at fault than anything else.  (9,000 steps, anyone?)

Still I Rise

Still I Rise
as sung by the Seattle Men's Chorus

Yet still I rise/ Never to give up/ Never to give in against all odds/ Yet still I rise/ High above the clouds/ At times I feel alone/ But still I rise/

I have discovered that the chart gallery of TCOYF is an incredible time-suck.  I can spend hours perusing charts, looking for one or two that are just a little like mine (curious?), and then get all my hopes up based on one woman who, back in 2007, was pregnant despite having weird temperatures.  Result?  I P'dOAS this morning.  And afternoon, since the morning one was a dud.  So, of course, I had to go buy more HPTs, so I could get an accurate result.  Because if the possible ovulation 2 days ago turns out to be an actual O and results in a BFP, I'm going to want to know exactly when it all went down.  Ovulating 3 weeks after doctors expect you to doesn't result in happy due dates, I'm thinking.

Talk about counting chickens before they're hatched!

My hopes are up because my BBT rose yesterday, and is staying high today (still higher than previous temps in this cycle), and fingers are crossed.  As much as they can be while I play piano, that is.  Piano playing has turned out to be a great stress-reliever, as well as a good way to pass time on my day off.  Now that I've completed my errands for the day, I'd best give the dog a bath before her stink sinks into the sofa cushions.

You've Got to Show

You've Got to Show
by the Indigo Girls


Why don't we both agree we're both afraid and too afraid to say
If I say count to three and move toward me, would you meet me half the way
There are a thousand things about me I want only you to know
But I can't do it alone, you've got to show

Last week I was feeling all positive about my cycle, counting the days after ovulation, and trying to figure out when a pregnancy test might be accurate...and then my temperatures started getting weird.  At first, I was willing to chalk it up to a fluke temperature here and there, and then I thought it might be my thermometer battery dying.  Now, I'm forced to admit that this was an anovulatory cycle, and we are definitely going to be trying again.

Sigh.

I did the whole POAS routine this morning, just to make sure I hadn't totally misread my chart, and got the BFN I expected.  So, I enjoyed a couple Guinness at St. Patrick's Day dinner, and now we wait for the next cycle.  I'm frustrated right now because when I have had anovulatory cycles in the past, they last up to 46 days(!), and I'm not in the mood to wait that long - I'm already at day 29.  I've tried parsley tea in the past to speed things up, and I may try that again tomorrow, just to see if I can move things along.  I hate standing still.