Thursday, May 27, 2010

You Are Not Alone

You Are Not Alone
from Into the Woods

You move just a finger/ Say the slightest word/ Something's bound to linger/ Be heard/ No one acts alone/ Careful/ No one is alone

So, I can't say why the songs of Broadway are calling to me right now, but I am pretty certain I can add another symptom to the list.  And while I can understand the nausea (stay away from foods that aren't good for Bean, or else), and I can explain the expanding bustline (that kid's gonna have to eat something in a few months...), I have no good reason for why I burst into tears while washing dishes this evening.  Okay, it may have been provoked by the song I was singing (doesn't everyone sing while washing dishes?), which led into this entry, but I usually sing sad songs while washing dishes, and don't usually get the waterworks!  At first, it was just a little sniffling on occasional lines, but now it has evolved into full-fledged sobbing while I searched for the lyrics online - and laughing at myself throughout, since I feel so foolish for crying to a song I've been singing for more than 10 years!

*sniffle, snort*

Today was the first visit to a Dr.'s office that was not my usual place.  The clinic to which we were referred wants all the pregnant ladies (I feel another song coming on) to come in for a class on what to eat, what meds are safe, and what activities to avoid.  Next week we have our first real visit with a Dr. there, and after that we'll decide if that's the clinic we want to stay with, or if we'd like to find another.  I'm not leaning toward this one at the moment, but LB likes that all of their deliveries take place in the hospital, with nurses and OBs right there.  The class was nothing I hadn't already heard, but I did get a few questions answered, and two free books out of the deal.  Oh, and a pamphlet on a study taking place in our area about how fetuses (feti?) develop, to provide a larger sample on which to base the expected measurements and growth charts - which would be cool, plus we might get more information and scans to see how the Bean grows :)

Okay, bedtime.  After all, I only got a 20-minute nap today (and that need, I think, is to provide Bean with all of my superpowers - the Bean is basically kryptonite that is attached)

Tuesday, May 25, 2010

The Bean Song

The Bean Song
a camp song

My dog Jelly likes to roam/ One day Jelly roamed from home/ He came back so squeaky clean!/ Where, oh where, has Jelly been?/ Jelly bean, Jelly bean, where, oh where, has Jelly bean?  (Underlined words can be replaced with any kind of bean: lima, string, pork-and, your choice!)

I pride myself on being good at keeping secrets, and have never been the kind of person to slip up with my own secrets (birthday presents?  great big changes at work?  I'll never tell.) or those of others (found a better job? trying for a baby? I'm like a vault.)  I love secrets like a six-year-old loves them, I love the challenge of keeping things to myself, and I love the thrill of knowing that there is a day in the future when I get to tell everything.
We have just scratched the surface of telling folks we know about the Bean, which makes it far harder than I expected to keep the secret from the rest of our friends and family.  Until we started telling people (which began with LB's cousin the day we got a BFP), it was easy.  Today, though, keeping this news from everyone has gotten harder and harder.  I don't know if it's because we finally have an appointment to find out more about the Bean, or if this is harder because it's about US, and not someone else, but I keep having to bite my tongue to avoid telling people!

LB and I would like to have an ultrasound picture before we tell people, so right now we're using that as our reason for waiting  Then, we'll probably just tell family, and wait until the 2nd trimester (all the way in July!) to let friends know.  For now, though, we wait.  And I try not to call attention to the fact that I'm not drinking, and hope that my ever-expanding cleavage doesn't cause my shirt to explode suddenly!

Thursday, May 20, 2010

Don't Let Me Go

Don't Let Me Go
Shrek the Musical

You and me, we belong together/ Like butter and grits, like kibbles and bits/ Like yin and yang, sturm and drang/ Like Eng and Chang, attached at the hip/ But not an old lady hip that might break/  I'm gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake/ Like Cupid and Psyche, like pop rocks and Mikey/ We'll stick together like that velcro stuff/ I'm the fuzzy side, you'll be the spiky/ Ooh!  Like little kids in pajamas with those funny things at the bottom, y'know, feeties?/ Like doughnuts and...what goes with doughnuts?/ Doughnuts and...diabetes!

5w, 5d
  • all-day nausea?
    • check!
  • sore breasts so I can't run, go quickly down stairs, or sleep on my stomach?
    • check!
  • peeing before, after, and during all events and engagements?
    • check!
I'm not complaining, mind you, but I can tell this is starting to wear on LB.  Perhaps it was the way she lovingly rolled her eyes at me this morning, when I asked her to finishing making lunches because the peanut butter was making me queasy.  Or, maybe I noticed when she sighed quietly as I began describing how I avoided nausea during the all-day meeting today.  On the other hand, it may have been when she nearly cussed me out in Costco because nothing they had to offer for dinner was pregnant-lady-friendly and appealed to me.  Well, whenever I finally figured it out, I realized once again how absolutely fabulous this woman is to be taking care of me, and how long the ride we're on will be.  I should find a treat for her this weekend. 

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Material Girl

Material Girl
by Madonna

We are living in a material world/ And I am a material girl/ You know that we are living in a material world/ And I am a material girl

Adventures at the chain maternity store while shopping for bras that are more supportive and protective.

Friendly-But-Clueless-Saleslady: Is your husband excited?
Frankncents: Oh, I'm not married [smiles]
FBCS: Boyfriend?
Frankncents: No, this is my partner [indicates LB, standing next to me at the register]
FBCS: Oh!  So, did you do, like, in-vitro?
Frankncents: No, we didn't have to go to all that trouble... [still smiling, but, um, why is it any business of yours how I got pregnant? Is your usual follow-up to the husband question "and did you have sex in the bed or the kitchen?"]
FBCS: [confused] So, are you adopting?  Are you even pregnant?
Frankncents: Yes, I'm pregnant! [lady, why would I be buying maternity bras and looking at maternity clothes if I weren't planning to give birth at some point in the not-so-near future?]
FBCS: *crickets*

LB and I had a very hard time keeping our composure until we left the store!

So, following the litany of new pregnancy symptoms from the last post, what Rachel Pepper terms "Atomic Titties" have shown up, with a vengeance.  Adjusting the seat belt this afternoon elicited an "oh, fuck" as my hand grazed one breast (with a sweatshirt over it, may I add).  Now, I may not keep my language school-appropriate at all times, but I do not typically swear like a sailor at safety equipment.  This, though, takes me back to 4th grade, when my breasts started to develop.  I have a strong memory of preparing to say the pledge of allegiance one morning, placing my right hand over my heart, and pulling it away as if my shirt was on fire.  My-goodness-me, what on earth was going on in there?  This is like that, only now everything sticks out farther, so they get bumped more.

The Amazons probably chopped one off just to keep from giving away their position with agonized screaming when they set up a shot with the bow, y'know, hunting while pregnant and all that.

I've heard of people asking inappropriate quesitons, but...

...I think today may take the cake. 5 weeks, 0 days pregnant (and no, I still don't comprehend the whole idea of counting the time preconception, but I'll go with it). 1 day of shopping together. 1 maternity clothes store. 1 saleswoman. 1 stream of inappropriate questions. The shopping was pleasant: 2 hold'em in place bras, 1 cute t-shirt, coordinated tank-top/capri combo, and 1 $15 off coupon. And then the fun began.

Saleswoman - "So is your husband excited?"

- "I'm not married."

Saleswoman - "Your boyfriend?"

- "No. This is my partner." (Gestures at me.)

Saleswoman (smiling, but clearly taken by surprise) -"Oh! I'm sorry!" (fumble with things; embarrassed)

- "That's alright." (smiling)

Saleswoman - "So did you use in-vitro?" (Note: our only interaction with this woman prior to the ringing up of our purchase was her putting our items in a dressing room while we shopped; we are not family, friends, or even the most casual of acquaintances.)

- "No. Nothing that complicated or expensive."

Saleswoman - "Are you adopting then?"

- (Confused laughter and looking around at the maternity clothes) "Um, no."

Saleswoman - "Are you pregnant then?"

- "Yes." (Read: Why else would we be dropping $85 for some big-belly clothes?! True, Joey liked his Thanksgiving pants, but really now, use some common sense girl!)

We did manage to make it about 1/2 way out of the store before I said something to the effect of, "Just think of the blog post we'll write!" We may even have made it out the door before laughing too loudly. The joys of retail...Lionel, I don't think we're in Seattle anymore!

Friday, May 14, 2010


Harry Nilsson

I say, Doctor, doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take,/ I say, Doctor, dooooctor, to relieve this belly ache?/ Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together,/ Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better,/ Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up,/ Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning

We had out first appointment yesterday - not with an OB, just with the physician's assistant.  She confirmed all the pee sticks (why is it that the Dr.'s pee test seems so much more official than the at-home ones?), answered all our questions, and helped figure out which vitamins I should keep taking, and which ones are just for LB.  I should mention that LB was a total rock star at the appointment, since she remembered all the questions I wanted to ask, and remembered the amounts of each vitamin I need to take. If only I could pay her back by being alert and entertaining beyond 9:30 pm!

Speaking of which...It amazes me how every day since that BFP brings more actual pregnancy symptoms.  Of course, I'm also still amazed that these are honest-to-goodness symptoms, not me trying to convince myself I'm pregnant!  We've met fatigue, a little nausea (nothing terrible yet...), and have made the very familiar acquaintance of constant, mild cramps.  I have to remind myself that there is a little parasite setting up camp, in there.  Today, I discovered that I cannot run even five steps without hugging my breasts, which makes me look a bit odd on bus duty!  Oh, and I have always been the type to cry at commercials, but this is a whole new experience.  I'm watching TV this evening, and every third scene has me in tears.  It's gonna be a long trip *sniffle, tear* 

Perhaps stream-of-consciousness blogging is another symptom?

Monday, May 10, 2010

Joy to the World

Joy to the World
Three Dog Night

Joy to the world/All the boys and girls/ Joy to the fishes in the deep blue sea/ Joy to you and me

So, perhaps not the song I expected to be in my head this morning, but I can't think of anything else, because:

  Now, I need to go get ready for the day.  Somehow, I think that morning meeting with my supervisor is going to go much better now.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

Mother's Day
by Tom Chapin

Mother's Day! (I'll get the OJ)/ Mother's Day! (I'll fold the napkins)/ Our own Mommy's special day is here!

So, no "for sure" news to report yet...I did POAS this morning, and got a very faint line (which was slightly darker than yesterday's very faint line, and looks different to me than all the negative tests I have taken), so we are feeling hopeful in the purple house.  As LB reminds me, one of our good friends had to test for 4 days in a row before getting a line that was convincing.

I keep telling LB that all I want is to not get my period on Mother's Day.  Of course, that's in between all the times we're smiling at each other and talking about "the bean" ;-)  Fingers crossed!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Walkin' After Midnight

Walkin' After Midnight
Patsy Cline 

I go out walkin' after midnight/ Out in the moonlight/ Just like we used to do/ I'm always walkin' after midnight searchin' for you

Blargh.  It's been a crappy week, and it's only Tuesday.

Here's hoping it gets better tomorrow, when I take another HPT.  The last two have been negative (6 and 8 DPO), but I'm still hopeful.  I just need to believe that stress won't completely ruin our chances.  I've been doing so well at staying calm and not obsessing over this 2WW, and then work had to come along yesterday and spoil it all.

*sigh*  And LB isn't even letting me have a glass of wine.