Song of the Soul

Song of the Soul
by Cris Williamson


Love of my life, I am crying/ I am not dying, I am dancing/ Dancing along in the madness/ There is no sadness, only the song of the soul/ And we'll sing this song/ Why don't you sing along?/ And we can sing for a long, long time/ 

The day went like this:
6:15 take temp, still down (damn.) POAS: BFN (damn.)
8:30 plant plastic eggs around the neighborhood for the little kids to find
10:00 go egg hunting with the under-4 crowd, have a great time at the reactions of the kids to EVERY egg they find.  "I found one!  I found another one!  And another one!  I found another one!" repeat for 20 minutes, all along the block
12:30 make sandwiches for baby shower, before leaving stop at the restroom, CD1 again (damn.)
2:00 baby shower is attended by both month-old twins, as well as their 9-month-old cousin.  (cute, but damn.)
4:00 leave baby shower, break into tears from stress of PMS, BFN, and being surrounded by adorable children who are NOT MINE all day long.  LB proposes shopping therapy.
5:00 shopping therapy works, we return home with infant t-shirts and burpcloths to decorate.

Six hours later, LB has created the worlds most adorable onesies, and I'm feeling better and have finished a swatch for my next knitting project.  This one will not be for a baby or an expectant mom, rather, it is a stash-culling project using yarn purchased years ago.   See, if we're going to be spending more money on OPKs, HPTs, and the like, I can't be spending our extra money on crafting supplies (onesies clearly don't count).  Cycle 2, here we come!

Morning Train (Nine to Five)

Morning Train (Nine to Five)
by Sheena Easton

My baby takes the morning train/ He works from nine to five and then/ He takes another home again/ To find me waiting for him/

Second morning in a row that the song stuck in my head all day has started with the words "my baby"... I guess even my subconscious is wishing for a BFP!  Which makes it all the more ironic that I have ZERO willpower and P'dOAS this morning...and got a BFN.  At 8DPO, which is a surprise to no one, I'm sure.  It would be nice, though, if I at least got a break from baby-fever during my non-waking hours.

The song for today is also a creative choice from my brain since I don't work this week (being a teacher has it's perks, even if paid vacation and a house in the tropics isn't one of them).  Instead, LB and I made the rounds of Seattle's consignment stores, scoping out where to find cheap maternity and baby clothes when the time comes.  We found a few places that met our standards (organized, inexpensive, sketch-free), and are marking them down for future reference.  It was gloriously sunny today, and with all the riding in the car, I was back in laa-laa-land while LB tried to keep me awake.  When we got home, I took a nap before dinner, which is very unusual for me, but I suspect the über-walk we did with Olive the pug this morning is more at fault than anything else.  (9,000 steps, anyone?)

You've Got to Show

You've Got to Show
by the Indigo Girls


Why don't we both agree we're both afraid and too afraid to say
If I say count to three and move toward me, would you meet me half the way
There are a thousand things about me I want only you to know
But I can't do it alone, you've got to show

Last week I was feeling all positive about my cycle, counting the days after ovulation, and trying to figure out when a pregnancy test might be accurate...and then my temperatures started getting weird.  At first, I was willing to chalk it up to a fluke temperature here and there, and then I thought it might be my thermometer battery dying.  Now, I'm forced to admit that this was an anovulatory cycle, and we are definitely going to be trying again.

Sigh.

I did the whole POAS routine this morning, just to make sure I hadn't totally misread my chart, and got the BFN I expected.  So, I enjoyed a couple Guinness at St. Patrick's Day dinner, and now we wait for the next cycle.  I'm frustrated right now because when I have had anovulatory cycles in the past, they last up to 46 days(!), and I'm not in the mood to wait that long - I'm already at day 29.  I've tried parsley tea in the past to speed things up, and I may try that again tomorrow, just to see if I can move things along.  I hate standing still.