Thursday, April 29, 2010

I'm Wishing

I'm Wishing
From Snow White

I'm wishing (I'm wishing)/ For the one I love/ To find me (to find me)/ Today (today)

Alright, we are officially in the 2WW again!  It is bizarre to me, even after months of charting, just how much cervical fluid changes over the course of a cycle.  I'll feel like I've got a handle on what it looks like at a certain point, and then it throws something new my way.  Case in point: "creamy" has always been, for me, a sort of creamy/clumpy mix, but this month?  I feel like a textbook example, no clumps at all.  Bizarre, as I said.  LB keeps asking when the "earliest" is that we could know...and I'm just trying not to think about it too much, so I don' tget worked up and stress myself out.

My students have their spring concert next week, and the district choir festival is the week after that.  It could be that we know by next weekend (which is Mother's Day, and would be just TOO perfect).  For now, though, I just need to stay relaxed about work and let the 2WW go by.  4 days down, 10 more to go.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

I Take My Chances

I Take My Chances
by Mary Chapin Carpenter

Now some people say that you shouldn't tempt fate, and for them I cannot disagree/ But I never learned nothing from playing it safe, I say fate should not tempt me/ I take my chances/ I don't mind working without a net/ I take my chances/ I take my chances every chance I get

Huh.  Apparently, the mobile blogging post I tried over the weekend didn't pan out.  I'll have to see if it shows up in the next few days, or just disappeared into the ether.  Here's the basic gist:

This weekend, LB and I had a choir retreat, which took us a few hours from a rendezvous with our donor, but since I was seeing possibly-fertile cervical fluid, I made sure to bring along a few OPKs, just so we'd know if we missed the chance this month, or if it was approaching as the weekend ended.  Saturday afternoon, we finally saw a second line!  Not quite as dark as the control line, but that was good, since we weren't coming back to town until Sunday.


This afternoon, since the second line was much darker (either as dark or darker than the control, depending on where you look), we contacted our donor and set up AHI #3.  A few hours (and some plow poses later), and I am crossing my fingers for a rising temperature and another 2WW!

We tried a new approach this time - instead of LB injecting the little swimmers into me, and then trying to trap them in place with the Instead cup, I put them into the cup first, and then put it in "pre-loaded."  It worked for a couple of friends, so we are hopeful.  The only complaint from LB with this method is that she doesn't want to be accused of not being involved this time.  Since she made a delicious dinner and cuddled with me afterward, I think she's safe from that.

Depending on how temps and the OPKs look tomorrow, I may see if our donor is available for another try after work tomorrow, just to increase our chances.

Monday, April 19, 2010

Doin' Fine

Doin' Fine
by Ellis

It's good to understand where you are standing/ And it's good to know where you been/ And it's good to work through the tough times/ And let the lessons start to creep in/ I know we're able to let go of more baggage/ Than we give ourselves credit for/ And the sunrise sayin' hello in the morning time/ Makes me believe that more and more

The last two days here in Seattle have been glorious examples of our lives in a temperate rain forest, or at least near one.  After the rain last week and some drizzle on Saturday, yesterday and today have been beautiful, sunny, warm, and just a little muggy.  We have huge bunches of lilacs on our table, at work, and wafting a wonderful scent through the entire house.  Times like these, I can't imagine a more wonderful place to live, especially in our new house, with the garden that is [almost] of our dreams :)

In the sunshine, we have been working on getting to know our garden.  The previous owners of the house were excellent gardeners, and amassed an amazing collection of plants, but we have been wanting to make the garden our own since we moved in last fall.  Finally, on Sunday, we started!  With a little help and encouragement from a friend of LB's family, we dug up the plants from a section of the garden, added a little compost, and put in some new veggies.

Here you see our new tomatoes, onions, basil, and the bok choy we relocated from the front yard.  Ignore the old, rusty wheelbarrow in the background, please.

Gardening has proven to be a very satisfying, comforting way to distract myself from the fact that I STILL HAVEN'T OVULATED.  Nor have any of the OPKs I've been peeing on showed any sign of impending ovulation.  Grrr.

LB pointed out that, the last time my cycle was thrown off by stress, the next cycle was also really weird and long.  I'm hoping that's all that is happening here, and at the same time, thinking about asking for an opinion from my Dr. if nothing happens soon.

I'm letting something in and I'm letting something go/ And I'm so thankful to be alive/ Right now time is passing slowly/ But I'm thoroughly enjoying this drive

Monday, April 12, 2010

New Beginning

New Beginning
by Tracy Chapman

We can break the cycle - We can break the chain
We can start all over - In the new beginning
We can learn, we can teach
We can share the myths the dream the prayer
The notion that we can do better

Well, here we go!  According to the TCOYF website, today is a good day to start using the OPKs I bought, so it's back to POAS time.  I haven't used these before, so it was a bit of a surprise to see the dye creeping up the test strip this evening!  Apparently, that's just how these work, since after a bit, the control line appeared.  Threw me for a bit of a loop, though, as the whole thing turned pink.

The past few days, LB and I have taken our pug, Olive, for long walks in the evening - she loves to walk, we need the exercise - it's a good deal for everyone.  Last night, we walked up by a nearby park that the city is fixing up, and noted that the path they are putting in is going to be very stroller-friendly!  (as LB pointed out, it's also going to be wheelchair-accessible, which may be more important to the designers, but I appreciate the wide, smooth path for other reasons). 

Change our lives and paths
Create a new world and

Start all over

Wednesday, April 7, 2010

Please, Mr. Postman

Please, Mr. Postman
by the Marvelettes

Stop/ Oh, yes, wait a minute Mr. Postman/ Wait/ Wai-ai-ai-ait Mr. Postman/ Please Mr. Postman look and see/ If there's a letter in your bag for me/

We must be getting close to the next insemination, because today our OPKs and HPTs arrived!  I am new to the OPKs; having tracked BBT for months before we started trying, I feel like I have a good understanding of when ovulation is coming, but last month's bizarre delayed ovulation made me want more confirmation.  After all, we don't want to annoy the donor by asking for his little swimmers too often (especially if we don't need them!)  Luckily, they come with detailed instructions, so we should be good to go in a few days, as long as I can remember the instructions when I'm bleary-eyed in the morning.

LB has been spending this waiting time decorating more onesies and baby t-shirts, and while she will take suggestions from me regarding subjects for her designs, she wisely does not have me help with drawing them.  I am much better at creating mp3 mixes for babies, not so much the clothing.

Pear on front of onesie

These pictures are from some dish towels LB made for our new house - I think they work quite well for a little one :)

Orange on the back of the same onesie

My idea: kangaroo!  I love how LB can translate an actual animal into a stylized cartoon of the animal, and retain the features that tell you what it is.  I would love this kangaroo on lots of things - a shirt for me, a purse, wallpaper...I think it's that cute.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Song of the Soul

Song of the Soul
by Cris Williamson

Love of my life, I am crying/ I am not dying, I am dancing/ Dancing along in the madness/ There is no sadness, only the song of the soul/ And we'll sing this song/ Why don't you sing along?/ And we can sing for a long, long time/ 

The day went like this:
6:15 take temp, still down (damn.) POAS: BFN (damn.)
8:30 plant plastic eggs around the neighborhood for the little kids to find
10:00 go egg hunting with the under-4 crowd, have a great time at the reactions of the kids to EVERY egg they find.  "I found one!  I found another one!  And another one!  I found another one!" repeat for 20 minutes, all along the block
12:30 make sandwiches for baby shower, before leaving stop at the restroom, CD1 again (damn.)
2:00 baby shower is attended by both month-old twins, as well as their 9-month-old cousin.  (cute, but damn.)
4:00 leave baby shower, break into tears from stress of PMS, BFN, and being surrounded by adorable children who are NOT MINE all day long.  LB proposes shopping therapy.
5:00 shopping therapy works, we return home with infant t-shirts and burpcloths to decorate.

Six hours later, LB has created the worlds most adorable onesies, and I'm feeling better and have finished a swatch for my next knitting project.  This one will not be for a baby or an expectant mom, rather, it is a stash-culling project using yarn purchased years ago.   See, if we're going to be spending more money on OPKs, HPTs, and the like, I can't be spending our extra money on crafting supplies (onesies clearly don't count).  Cycle 2, here we come!

Friday, April 2, 2010

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head

Raindrops Keep Falling On My Head
by B.J. Thomas

Raindrops keep fallin' on my head/ And just like the guy whose feet are too big for his bed/ Nothin' seems to fit/ Those raindrops are fallin' on my head, they keep fallin'/

It's April in Seattle, so of course it's been raining all day.  Despite our plans to plant bulbs and mow the lawn (which could now completely hide the pug, were she tempted to lay down in the yard instead of sniffing everything in sight), I cooked and LB worked on National Boards all day.  At the end of the day, we have two pans of brownies, a basket of scones, couscous stew, and all the fixings for cucumber sandwiches put away.  After this, I'm making mayonnaise and calling it a night.

All of this cooking has done well to distract me from the fact that my temperature plunged today, and I've been waiting all day for my next cycle to start.  It hasn't started yet, which is more frustrating than ever before.  This time, it's not just about avoiding stains on my clothes, or getting a week of bleeding over with.  Now, I keep feeling like I'll be losing something when my period finally arrives.  Silly, I know - if it comes, I never had anything to lose - but every time I sit down with my thoughts today, I feel like I'm waiting for some tragedy. 

On a much happier note, LB mentioned today that as this baby adventure takes longer to achieve, she is getting more excited for us to get a baby.  Not that we started off with me wanting a baby and her running the other way, but I've been the more eager of the two of us for the last few years, and she's been more hesitant lately.  I'm so happy she's feeling less petrified!  (and I'm sure the fear will come flying back as soon as we are successful)