It's Alright

It's Alright
Indigo Girls

It's alright, 40 days of rain/ My skin stretched out from the growing pain/ It'd be nice to have an explanation/ But it's alright

Okay, perhaps we haven't had 40 days of rain here in Seattle, but it has been a mild summer so far.  Yesterday LB and I took Olive on an early morning walk in the drizzle, which she loved and we found pretty refreshing, too.  It's been nice to feel more like moving around recently, instead of wanting to spend all of my time sitting and sleeping.

I've started having "round ligament pain," which is shockingly similar to pain after abdominal surgery.  When I cough or try to stand up quickly, I get sharp pains just above my pubic bone, which then cause me to clutch very gracefully at my stomach, or just grimace as I try to appear nonchalant.  According to the midwife, though, that pain is showing up right on time.

We had our first appointment with the midwives yesterday.  The new clinic we're going with has 4.5 midwives (one works half-time), and we'll be rotating through all of them.  When The Bean arrives, one of the midwives will be on call, so the plan is that we'll meet and work with all of them, and hopefully like them all, or at least be willing to tolerate all of them at delivery.  (I'm starting to think delivery sounds too passive.  Someone must have come up with a better word for this process!)

So, midwife #1 was a very cheerful, upbeat woman.  She is also shorter than me (uncommon, since I'm only 5'1"), and she reminded me of a hobbit.  So, let's refer to her as "Hobbit."  Hobbit introduced us to the clinic, and reviewed the test results from our OB appointment last month.  She was great about having LB there, and didn't stumble over words like "partner" at all.  This is important to me.  Hobbit did the usual physical exam (and why is it that now, when my breasts are more sore than they have ever been, that they get poked and prodded every month?), and pulled out the doppler.  Before she turned it on, Hobbit warned us that sometimes the heartbeat can be hard to find, and she doesn't worry until 13 weeks, which we are not at yet.  So, on with the cold goop and she's looking for the heartbeat...crackle, crackle...oh, there's my heartbeat, sounds good...crackle, snap...Hmm.  Let's try the other doppler.  Sometimes one works better than the other.  More cold goop...pop, crackle...That's your heartbeat again...Well, I guess this baby's just hiding really well today!

LB points out that someone in this family has to be shy, and since it's neither of us, perhaps The Bean is trying to fill that role.  I had really been looking forward to hearing the heartbeat, especially since that's pretty much the only sign I'm getting these days that things are going well, but I guess we'll wait until next month.  Hobbit didn't seem concerned, and although she offered us the option of going in today for an ultrasound just to check it out, I can't justify that extra expense when LB isn't worried, too.  So, I'm looking online for other people who didn't hear at heartbeat on the doppler and the baby was fine.  Luckily, they're out there, so I'm starting to feel better.

LB and I were waiting until after this appointment to tell the rest of our friends about The Bean, so of course last night we made our big facebook announcements.  Taking a cue from Butch...and Pregnant, we went for the simultaneous status update, accompanied by the changing of the profile picture to one of our ultrasound shots.  So now, I guess it's official!  It's been fun to see the shocked responses roll in, from everyone who didn't know we were trying.  We also went and told a few non-facebook friends in person, so LB's mom doesn't have to keep the news a secret from her neighbors.

All in all, I suppose, it is alright, just as the song says. 

I Need A Nap

I Need A Nap
"Weird Al" Yankovic and Kate Winslet 

I'm so tired of this day/ And I don't want to play/ And I don't want a story to read/ But I look in your eyes/ And at once realize/ Now I know what it is/ Yes, I know what it is/ Yes I know what it is that I need/ I need a nap!

I've been writing this entry in my head for three days now, but every time I think I have the time to sit down and type it, I realize I could use the same time to lay down in Bean's room and take a nap.  And so I do, and the blog goes unloved. 

If I could only set up a system by which my dreams automatically typed themselves into blogger, I could kill two birds with one stone.  Because, let me tell you, my dreams have outdone themselves in vivid detail and wacky story lines lately.  From wild adventures crossing skateboarding and baby buggies, to the dream where I had to fit an infinite number of students onto a very finite (and inadequate) number of risers for a performance, it's been nothing but grade-A entertainment every day and night around here.  My favorite, though, has to be the dream in which every female in my family showed up to our baby shower, all very pregnant, and my sister then gave birth and DIED in the middle of the proceedings.

Whoo-boy.  I think it's time for another lie-down.

The Ballad of Gilligan's Isle

The Ballad of Gilligans' Isle
Five passengers set sail that day,/ For a three hour tour, a three hour tour./ The weather started getting rough,/ The tiny ship was tossed,/ If not for the courage of the fearless crew,/ The Minnow would be lost, the Minnow would be lost.

Because I'm a public school music teacher, my schedule only takes up 4 of the 5-day work week, and this year I have Thursdays off.  Typically, this means I have a host of errands to run on Thursdays, from planting and lawn mowing to delivering packages to the post office and taking the dog on a long, draining walk.  Today started off no different, with the added component of needing to input the accompaniment of 5 choir pieces into my computer for the concert on Monday.  Basically, it was going to be a busy, busy day "off".  The morning was basically as planned, granted, I got off to a slow start, but that's the way it goes around here these days.  After showering, Olive (pug) and I set off on our long walk around the hill.  Two hours later, with my stomach loudly protesting the lack of snacks on our adventure, we returned, and I warmed up some leftover dal and rice (which seem to be some of the only foods that consistently sound good to my stomach these days).  After lunch, i was exhausted, and decided to take a quick nap before mowing the lawn and inputting the songs. 

Three hours later...

LB walks in the door, home from work, and my first response is "Is it really that late?!?"

Yup, it was.  So, it looks like my weekend has scheduled itself, and I'll be heading to the post office tomorrow, and getting the accompaniments ready in between dinner with friends and an engagement party for a high-school chum.  Woo-hoo!

You Are Not Alone

You Are Not Alone
from Into the Woods

You move just a finger/ Say the slightest word/ Something's bound to linger/ Be heard/ No one acts alone/ Careful/ No one is alone

So, I can't say why the songs of Broadway are calling to me right now, but I am pretty certain I can add another symptom to the list.  And while I can understand the nausea (stay away from foods that aren't good for Bean, or else), and I can explain the expanding bustline (that kid's gonna have to eat something in a few months...), I have no good reason for why I burst into tears while washing dishes this evening.  Okay, it may have been provoked by the song I was singing (doesn't everyone sing while washing dishes?), which led into this entry, but I usually sing sad songs while washing dishes, and don't usually get the waterworks!  At first, it was just a little sniffling on occasional lines, but now it has evolved into full-fledged sobbing while I searched for the lyrics online - and laughing at myself throughout, since I feel so foolish for crying to a song I've been singing for more than 10 years!

*sniffle, snort*

Today was the first visit to a Dr.'s office that was not my usual place.  The clinic to which we were referred wants all the pregnant ladies (I feel another song coming on) to come in for a class on what to eat, what meds are safe, and what activities to avoid.  Next week we have our first real visit with a Dr. there, and after that we'll decide if that's the clinic we want to stay with, or if we'd like to find another.  I'm not leaning toward this one at the moment, but LB likes that all of their deliveries take place in the hospital, with nurses and OBs right there.  The class was nothing I hadn't already heard, but I did get a few questions answered, and two free books out of the deal.  Oh, and a pamphlet on a study taking place in our area about how fetuses (feti?) develop, to provide a larger sample on which to base the expected measurements and growth charts - which would be cool, plus we might get more information and scans to see how the Bean grows :)

Okay, bedtime.  After all, I only got a 20-minute nap today (and that need, I think, is to provide Bean with all of my superpowers - the Bean is basically kryptonite that is attached)

The Bean Song

The Bean Song
a camp song

My dog Jelly likes to roam/ One day Jelly roamed from home/ He came back so squeaky clean!/ Where, oh where, has Jelly been?/ Jelly bean, Jelly bean, where, oh where, has Jelly bean?  (Underlined words can be replaced with any kind of bean: lima, string, pork-and, your choice!)

I pride myself on being good at keeping secrets, and have never been the kind of person to slip up with my own secrets (birthday presents?  great big changes at work?  I'll never tell.) or those of others (found a better job? trying for a baby? I'm like a vault.)  I love secrets like a six-year-old loves them, I love the challenge of keeping things to myself, and I love the thrill of knowing that there is a day in the future when I get to tell everything.
 
We have just scratched the surface of telling folks we know about the Bean, which makes it far harder than I expected to keep the secret from the rest of our friends and family.  Until we started telling people (which began with LB's cousin the day we got a BFP), it was easy.  Today, though, keeping this news from everyone has gotten harder and harder.  I don't know if it's because we finally have an appointment to find out more about the Bean, or if this is harder because it's about US, and not someone else, but I keep having to bite my tongue to avoid telling people!

LB and I would like to have an ultrasound picture before we tell people, so right now we're using that as our reason for waiting  Then, we'll probably just tell family, and wait until the 2nd trimester (all the way in July!) to let friends know.  For now, though, we wait.  And I try not to call attention to the fact that I'm not drinking, and hope that my ever-expanding cleavage doesn't cause my shirt to explode suddenly!

Don't Let Me Go

Don't Let Me Go
Shrek the Musical

You and me, we belong together/ Like butter and grits, like kibbles and bits/ Like yin and yang, sturm and drang/ Like Eng and Chang, attached at the hip/ But not an old lady hip that might break/  I'm gonna be on you like a fat kid on cake/ Like Cupid and Psyche, like pop rocks and Mikey/ We'll stick together like that velcro stuff/ I'm the fuzzy side, you'll be the spiky/ Ooh!  Like little kids in pajamas with those funny things at the bottom, y'know, feeties?/ Like doughnuts and...what goes with doughnuts?/ Doughnuts and...diabetes!


5w, 5d

• all-day nausea?
• check!
• sore breasts so I can't run, go quickly down stairs, or sleep on my stomach?
• check!
• peeing before, after, and during all events and engagements?
• check!

I'm not complaining, mind you, but I can tell this is starting to wear on LB.  Perhaps it was the way she lovingly rolled her eyes at me this morning, when I asked her to finishing making lunches because the peanut butter was making me queasy.  Or, maybe I noticed when she sighed quietly as I began describing how I avoided nausea during the all-day meeting today.  On the other hand, it may have been when she nearly cussed me out in Costco because nothing they had to offer for dinner was pregnant-lady-friendly and appealed to me.  Well, whenever I finally figured it out, I realized once again how absolutely fabulous this woman is to be taking care of me, and how long the ride we're on will be.  I should find a treat for her this weekend. 

Coconut

 Coconut
Harry Nilsson

I say, Doctor, doctor, ain't there nothin' I can take,/ I say, Doctor, dooooctor, to relieve this belly ache?/ Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both together,/ Put the lime in the coconut, then you feel better,/ Put the lime in the coconut, drink them both up,/ Put the lime in the coconut, and call me in the morning

We had out first appointment yesterday - not with an OB, just with the physician's assistant.  She confirmed all the pee sticks (why is it that the Dr.'s pee test seems so much more official than the at-home ones?), answered all our questions, and helped figure out which vitamins I should keep taking, and which ones are just for LB.  I should mention that LB was a total rock star at the appointment, since she remembered all the questions I wanted to ask, and remembered the amounts of each vitamin I need to take. If only I could pay her back by being alert and entertaining beyond 9:30 pm!

Speaking of which...It amazes me how every day since that BFP brings more actual pregnancy symptoms.  Of course, I'm also still amazed that these are honest-to-goodness symptoms, not me trying to convince myself I'm pregnant!  We've met fatigue, a little nausea (nothing terrible yet...), and have made the very familiar acquaintance of constant, mild cramps.  I have to remind myself that there is a little parasite setting up camp, in there.  Today, I discovered that I cannot run even five steps without hugging my breasts, which makes me look a bit odd on bus duty!  Oh, and I have always been the type to cry at commercials, but this is a whole new experience.  I'm watching TV this evening, and every third scene has me in tears.  It's gonna be a long trip *sniffle, tear* 

Perhaps stream-of-consciousness blogging is another symptom?